free time

i like that i have time right now to be on the couch on the computer still in my work clothes and look up and realize for the first time that it’s dark in here.  i love that time moves without me noticing.  i’m sure one day i’ll hate that, like when i have kids.

speaking of kids, they usually love me. i mean, i’m pretty good with them and i think they can tell.  but today at chik fil a i made a kid cry by saying hi to him, but his cry was so cute that i couldn’t make myself leave him alone because i wanted to see him cry more. i hope my baby has an ugly crying face so that i won’t intentionally make him cry.

i wish i could watch a movie of ten years from now for just 5 minutes, so i could see my babies.  and see if they have cute crying faces or not.

this week my WHOLE paycheck went to rent. i think that means i’m a real person now.

-kelseymay

i sure wish my left nostril would unclog.

-kels

i’ll be found in you

when you put a rembrandt 2 hour whitening kit in your mouth, it leaves you with a lot of free time. especially when you just can’t wait, and you start the two hours at 12:30 a.m.  and also, when the mouth pieces make you look like a chimpanzee so you couldn’t go anywhere with them in anyway.

we’ll see how i look in two hours. hopefully like a disney character– they have the best teeth.

…one thing about having a boyfriend is that you try lots of new things, things that you didn’t think you’d ever try.  today, that thing is sports.  (watching basketball, playing softball, playing golf) the newest event is football, which i have always hated. but boy will i try to like football. today i bought a texas longhorns shirt and watched the game with luke… although i slept through 3/4s of it. that’s love.

would everyone like to hear about my current work schedule? i bet i have the record for number of part time jobs.

here’s my new week:

monday: chik-fil-a

tuesday: mother’s day out, then babysitting

wednesday: paperdoodles

thursday:  mother’s day out, then babysitting

friday: chik-fil-a

saturday: paperdoodles

read ‘em and weep folks, that’s 4 part time jobs. no one can call me lazy now. (would you have called me lazy anyway? probably so.)

anyway, now that this blog entry has been sufficiently pointless and boring, i am going to go practice piano.

love, kelsey may

you hold me now

after years of being in a relationship with Christ, He is still revealing things about Himself to me that are so basic, but somehow they are meat and not milk.

tonight, through a friend’s sermon, the Lord revealed to me that I have been believing that He is wrong to love me.  I am thankful for the Lord’s love, but i know that I don’t deserve it and so, I believe (subconsciously) that He is making a  mistake– He doesn’t really know what He’s doing.

But here’s the truth– some of the best news i’ve received in a long time:

God loves me.

And God is just.

Therefore, God is just in His love for me.

i know… this should be in my basic system of beliefs, right? but my corrupted flesh is so insecure that my first conclusion is that Christ’s love for me is wrong, or not as true as He says it is.

so after the message, we’re singing songs about the Lord’s love and mercy, and for the first time, i realize that every time I sing these lines, i sing them with my mouth but i’m just singing words that to me, didn’t mean anything.  and tonight i got to experience the Lord’s love in its fullness and truth when i sang those songs. and there is no joy greater than that!

-love, kels

love’s true light

oh man.

tell me if this ever happens to you.

when i hear a song that reminds me of a really happy time,

or i am overwhelmed with love for someone,

or i’m up late at night by myself looking at old pictures,

i get an actual physical feeling in my chest– like my heart is swelling.  it’s the same feeling that you get in your stomach on a roller coaster, but just in a different spot.

and i don’t know what to do with that feeling– it’s uncomfortable, even though it’s happy, and i just need someone or something to hug to let it out.  but of course i’m the only one up in the house and the dogs have to stay outside.

right now, that song is the light will come by phil wickham.  it reminds me of cold weather and this past february.  this past february was awesome.

and the love is obviously for luke (maybe it’s not that obvious… i mean i love a lot of people.) but since he’s the one who does things like sits me down and teaches me how to practice piano chords, and carries around a deck of cards in his pocket to do magic tricks at a moment’s notice, he’s the one who gets the swelling heart feeling.

does this happen to anyone else? or am i the only crazy one who has physical symptoms to her emotions?

-k-may

you can be anything this time around

so now i’m counting down the days until my move back to belton.  and every time someone says, “have you found a job yet?” i want to rip my hair out. or just cry softly with my head in my hands until they feel sorry enough for me to just offer me THEIR job… that would be ideal.

and i may have given luke the flu… which makes me officially the meanest girlfriend ever.

but life in the near future is looking very fun.  david crowder’s cd release party, and hillsong coming to houston, and donald miller speaking in georgetown, and leeland playing in georgetown.  and jenna’s africa party, and phil wickham at umhb (actually that already happened. but i didn’t miss it.) it’s like my social life was paused for the summer and now i’m fast forwarding through the boring commercials and only playing the exciting stuff.

i haven’t done a picture post in a very long time, so voila mes amis:

luke’s parents got a new puppy. soooocute:

after our date at the stagecoach. yeah, we’re fancy. (this may have been the exact moment where i gave him the flu… oopsie)

these are the kind of girls that i love so much it makes my heart feel bigger.

phil… amazing.

ansel was very patient with me during this photoshoot. she even purred a little. it was very kind.

love,kelsey may

trustworthy

wow, what a week.

tuesday, a girl at ms. mac’s died in a car crash… she was 3 years old.

and i’m trying, stupidly, to figure out how God is being glorified in this.

i’m thinking, does the intense grief that her parents (not to mention everyone else who loved her) are feeling glorify the Lord?

or is it the fact that her short life was over before it barely began?

and i know that everything that happens to us is worked out for the best for us, and that hopefully this brings her parents to brokenness and dependence on the Lord, since that is our goal in life anyway.

but selfishly i’m thinking, can’t things (at least sometimes) be good for us in the way that we think of good? because in my human mind, good is that little girl alive.  i don’t get to decide what’s good, but i am so wishing that sometimes life was easy. and that no mommy or daddy ever had to bury their three year old daughter.

i’ve said it before, that one of the words to describe God that comforts me the most is “trustworthy.”

i just have to keep reminding myself of that… He’s trustworthy. Trustworthy with our lives, and with the world, and how He works in every circumstance. And I am so thankful that He is.

-kels

wah-mburger and french cries

so this is going to be whiny… you might not even want to read it:

man, being sick sucks.  it sucks to be at home when everyone else is enjoying their last few weeks of summer. it sucks to have all of these symptoms at the same time: fever, headache, sore throat, cough, stuffy nose, aches, and vomiting.

not that i’d be blogging if i was still vomiting… i’m better now, with just a headache and extreme tiredness.

but the worst part is that luke is back in town, and he even came back a day early to surprise me, but i couldn’t even see him because of my condition.  (it would not be good for him to contract the flu virus 2 days before he starts student teaching).  so i’m stuck at home when the one person i really want to see is half an hour away and i still can’t see him.

although he did risk it and come to see me yesterday… somehow it still doesn’t feel like enough.

so let’s hope that working all day tomorrow will kick start me back to my feet, and back to wellness!

okay… enough whining.

love,kels

i read the news today, oh boy

this week my 4 year old boyfriend at school got into the pool singing, “my my my poker face, my my poker face.” it was awesome, and it’s been in my head ever since.

why is it soooooo fun to talk about pet peeves? people love to tell other people their pet peeves.  i remember sitting at a table at a restaurant in scotland and exchanging pet peeves with my wonderful friend torre for over an hour.  and when someone has the same obscure pet peeve that we have, we feel like we’ve connected with them.

well here’s one of mine: nail salons that use old nail polish, so 24 hours after your manicure, if your hand knocks into something hard, your still sticky polish gets a dent in it.  so not worth the twenty bucks.

i’ve started shopping for my new room, and i will say it’s looking pretty promising.

here’s my comforter (jorun form, from ikea)

and 2 of these cushions for the bed (they are velvet and down and oh so soft):

and these embroidered shams for the pillows:

i am excited to have a cozy, pretty bed.

i am also thinking of either painting the walls, or just one accent wall. anyone have any suggestions? i am so bad at choosing wall color. (the walls in my bedroom at home used to be shiny and brown, if that tells you anything.)

here’s one little bonus picture to hint to the major current event in my life:

love, kels

it’s written all over your face

so, remember the kid who hit/kicked/threw a chair at/spit at/bit me a few weeks ago? apparently, he’s made a total turn around, and he’s actually now one of my favorite kids in the pool.

hey says things like, “hey… do you have a family?” “hey… what are their names?” “hey… i was in the baby room one day. i peed in it” (which is true… he peed on the floor when he was still being bad.)

anyway, today he told me in the pool that when he gets in trouble, he gets “dammit.” i said,

“you get what?”

“dammit.”

“dammit?”

“yeah, dammit.”

“what’s that?”

“it’s when mommy or daddy get really mad and they yell a lot and they spank me on the bottom!”

after having him repeat the word over and over (is he saying gammit? is that his dogs name?) and confirming with the other teachers that he was, in fact, saying damn it, we decided that it must be what his parents say when he gets in trouble.

lovemyjob.

-k-may